10 Things I Hate About Your Resume

Resume “Don’ts” for Lawyers, Law Students, And Everyone Else Too…

Your mom read it and thinks you come across “very professionally.” Your BFF emailed you with track-change edits, and you were miffed to see that you misspelled “judgment” (contrary to the inclusive leniency of the good people at Microsoft, there really is only one “e”). Perhaps you even had your C.V.’s proverbial loose ends tied up in a 45-minute session with your law school career counselor or job-coach/life-coach/nutritionist.

You’re golden, right?

I have had the pleasure (and endured the pain) of being on both sides of the interview table, having hired and managed attorneys, post-J.D.-pre-Esq.-soon-to-be-attorneys, and administrative staff. To that end, I have been charged with enforcing some order upon the pile of resumes that inevitably amass shortly after an advertisement hits the interweb, like so many barnacles on the hull of a sunken ship.

With that in mind, I would like to air my top 10 grievances with your resume. Think of these as reverse-principals. If your resume is free from these enumerated tragedies, I will be pleased to meet with you, or at least elevate your application to the decision-maker without the augmentation of my red pen having circled offending items.

I shall attempt to avoid personal pet peeves (“Garamond font — really?!”) and instead present universally frowned-upon faux pas. This list is generally ordered from “that was easy!” to “I need to crawl… before I can walk… before I can run… to my next interview.”

Continue Reading